12 Reasons I Hate The Phone

Many freelancing advice sites/blogs/forums give you advice along the 'Be bold!' line. And that's great - they gee me up to tackle things I would otherwise put off, and give me courage to pitch to people I am in awe of.

But I am quite shy, and I hate the phone. I really, really hate the phone. I've always struggled with this, and I think I always will.

At least it's good to know I'm in good company. Very good.

Here are some of the reasons I hate calling people (for business and 'pleasure'):

1. Everyone in the office/room can hear what I'm saying.
2. I hate the sound of my own voice (I think I sound posh - I'm not posh) and I often get an odd echo in my head of what I've just said. (This may be some sort of mental disorder, I don't know!)
   
3. I always feel like I'm interrupting something.
   
4. These are not always people who are keen to talk to me in the first place, either that or they don't know/trust me/care.
   
5. I can't see if you're loving or hating what I'm saying. No visual clues at all.
   
6. If wherever I am gets suddenly noisy, I lose words. That sounds unprofessional. (Currently, there are people with airhorns shouting outside in the street. Tourist town!)
   
7. Taped phone conversations are painful to transcribe - hissy and faint. I hate all the tape, batteries, leads gunk. Give me my iPod, iTalk and a couple of comfy chairs any time.
   
8. I'm bad at talking to strangers anyway, let alone faceless ones. It's just harder to connect.
   
9. I'm always wanting something or putting you on the spot. It seems rude. I'd rather meet in person and buy you a coffee, or better still, a fat chocolate muffin.
10. I can't do my obsessive-compulsive checking for sense and meaning (the sub in me) when I'm talking. I'm not what you'd call lucid.
    
11. I take a long time to reason things out, research and think about solutions and answers. I never piped up in Uni seminars because I could so see both sides and all the grey areas in between. Doesn't mean I don't have an opinion, I'm just not good at spitting it out after having had about three seconds to formulate it.
    
12. I can't show you anything, like the file I'm working on, the image I'm talking about or what I mean when I say 'drag it over to…' (I'm unpaid tech support for a few people!).
    

I could probably go on for about five more.

And some reasons I hate being called:

1. People who do the Anonymous Call thing. Let me know who you are. I have to pick up in case it's Mum on Skype (she can't or doesn't know how to change that) but I hate it.
2. I'm usually being interrupted.
3. If you leave a message, I have to pay (and navigate the Orange answerphone menu) to listen to it. Dammit, you wanted to talk to me, why do I have to pay for it? (Yeah, I'm cheap!)
   
4. I can't help trying to multi-task, especially when it's a 'just a chat' call. I can't do them. Just can't.
5. I feel put on the spot.
   

So for the moment I'm not going to worry about my fear of the phone. If and when it's necessary, (my NHS consultant's secretary, I am thinking of you) I will pick up the phone and give them hell. And often, I put the phone down and think, well, what a lovely person. (Not that secretary, mind you.) But email, IM, Skype videocalls, hell, a good old-fashioned letter - I'd rather be able to let the recipient decide when and where to deal with it.

If I end up having to revise this reasoning…I'll let you know.